


Uneasy Friends

by flowersheep



Series: Mob AU [2]
Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Crimes & Criminals, Gen, Organized Crime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22958683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowersheep/pseuds/flowersheep
Summary: It was bad enough that Fishlegs had found himself talked into working for the son of a notorious crime boss. He really doesn't need to make a habit of sharing drinks with Hiccup and his friends.
Relationships: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Astrid Hofferson
Series: Mob AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1649899
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	Uneasy Friends

**Author's Note:**

> more of my mob au. I spent way too much time reading about crime scene cleanup for a single line of dialogue lmao.

"Ah, Detective Ingerman!"

Fishlegs just barely held in the flinch as he turned towards the booth. He’d really been hoping to be left alone, but then if that had been his goal he probably should have picked a club other than the Dragon’s Nest. Hiccup lounged in the booth, beckoning Fishlegs over with his free hand. His other was tracing lazy patterns on the bare arm of the woman leaning against him, her head resting on his shoulder. She looked different out from under the stage lights, but Fishlegs quickly recognized Astrid. Snotlout was next to her, barely paying any attention to anything other than a severely unimpressed young woman who was probably only patiently enduring his flirting because of who he knew. There was another woman sitting to Hiccup’s left that Fishlegs recognized, but her name escaped him. She had been having a conversation with Astrid, but now turned to give Fishlegs a very thorough onceover. Finally there were the twins, Tuffnut and Ruffnut. Fishlegs was still on the fence about them. All things considered, they’d been relatively nice to him since their meeting his first night scoping out the club. On the other hand, the entire basis of their friendship had started as the twins stringing him along to see how long it would take him to get caught snooping around what turned out to be their childhood friend’s club. In his defense, it seemed pretty logical to assume that the son of a crime lord wouldn’t have many childhood friends, much less ones as unpredictable as the twins. Still, he should probably learn to be a bit more suspicious of people in this line of work.

"Come, have a seat," Hiccup invited. Ruffnut shoved her brother over to make room for him and Fishlegs gingerly slid into the booth. “I believe you know just about everyone here, right? Snotlout and the twins, obviously. Heather, we go way back.” Heather raised what looked to be a long island iced tea to him in greeting, her smile warm and encouraging. Hiccup looked down at the blond head resting against his shoulder. “I don’t think you’ve had the chance to properly introduce yourself yet, milady.” Astrid sat up, languid and graceful.

“No, I haven’t,” she said, offering her hand over the table. Fishlegs noted that her grip was strong and firm. “Astrid Hofferson. I’m sure you’ve seen me perform.”

"Yes, I have," Fishlegs said. He felt a blush rise to his cheeks when he added, "You're very talented." Astrid smiled as she withdrew her hand and leaned back against Hiccup.

"Careful, Fishy," Tuffnut said. "Supposedly they're getting married someday."

"We'll get around to it," Hiccup said, shrugging.

"No need to rush," Astrid agreed. She yawned.

"Late night, Hoff?" Ruffnut teased, waggling her eyebrows in as exaggerated a fashion as she could manage.

"He wasn't even home until like two in the morning Ruff, so you can fuck off," Astrid said, raising her middle finger for emphasis. "I was up early helping my parents move into their new house, if you must know."

"Could've taken a nap after we had lunch," Hiccup said.

"I don't listen to you."

"No one listens to you, H," Tuffnut said. Hiccup rolled his eyes and his gaze once again landed on Fishlegs.

"What do you drink, Ingerman?"

"Oh, I don't-" Fishlegs tried to protest, but Hiccup waved him off. 

"Nonsense, my treat." He flagged down a passing server and Fishlegs hesitantly ordered a rum and coke. “Make sure you use the good stuff, please,” Hiccup reminded the waitress. “He’s with me, obviously.”

"Surprised you're going for it Fishlegs," Ruffnut said. "You know this is like the perfect way to poison you, right?" Fishlegs froze.

"Out of curiosity," Hiccup said, rolling his eyes, "what would my motivation be for deciding to poison him now after sparing his life?"

"Technically you wouldn't be the one actually doing the poisoning," Tuffnut spoke up.

"Having someone poison him. Whatever." Hiccup waved a dismissive hand again and took a drink. "Well?"

"Second thoughts?" Ruffnut suggested. "I mean, who knows what goes on in your dark, twisted mind H." Astrid snorted.

"I mean, personally I think this is a huge mistake," Snotlout said. The young woman he’d been flirting with seemed to have finally gotten tired of it and could just be seen disappearing into the crowd. "You should've just let me beat him to a pulp and put a bullet in him."

"That alone is grounds for sparing his life," Heather said. She'd been quietly observing them, not seeming to have any intention of joining the conversation, but Fishlegs was starting to get the impression that anyone who spent more than five minutes around Snotlout developed an irresistible urge to mock him at every opportunity.

"The day I do something you would do, Snot, is the day I shoot myself in the face," Hiccup said.

"Pff, you're just jealous," Snotlout grumbled. Hiccup rolled his eyes and didn't dignify that with a response. It was all a bit too casual for Fishlegs' comfort. Almost everyone in this booth was a criminal. And even if Astrid didn't directly commit crimes she obviously knew exactly what kind of illegal activity her fiance got up to and was fine with it. But they were teasing each other and laughing and making jokes, like any other group of friends at a club. He kept having to look at the two men looming nearby to remind himself that wasn't what was happening here.

"Those are Hiccup's bodyguards," Ruffnut said, noticing his staring. "Eret and Toothless." Fishlegs blinked.

"Toothless?" he repeated.

"You can ask, but you won't get an answer," Tuffnut said. "Only Hiccup knows what his real name is."

"And I'll never tell," Hiccup said.

“I’ll figure it out someday,” Ruffnut declared. “You’ll see.” Fishlegs didn’t think he was imagining it when one of the bodyguards smirked. That one must have been Toothless. Tall, dark skin, dark wild hair, piercing green eyes. Despite the other one, Eret, having a large, intimidating, muscular frame, Toothless was the one who sent shivers down your spine.

“He’s one of the Dragons,” Hiccup provided. Fishlegs’ jaw dropped. 

“Wait, as in the former organization?” he asked. “The one whose leader was called the Red Death?”

“That’s the one. Since the Red Death’s downfall we’ve had a few former Dragons join our organization. Like Toothless.”

“Didn’t he actually join before the Red Death’s downfall?” Tuffnut asked. “You know, after you talked him into flipping sides?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Hiccup deadpanned. Judging from the amusement around the table, he had indeed done exactly that.

“We’re actually sitting in their former headquarters,” Ruffnut told Fishlegs. “This place isn’t called The Dragon’s Nest by accident. It literally was their nest.”

“Looked much worse back then though,” Tuffnut said. “Bit of a dump, really. Then Hiccup made it his passion project.”

“It’s not my passion project,” Hiccup protested, frowning at Tuffnut. Astrid snorted.

“Oh please, babe, you love this place more than you love me,” she said.

“I don't-” Hiccup paused, reconsidering. “Alright, maybe a little. But you’re definitely a very close second, milady.” He winced when Astrid dug her elbow into his side, but judging from the way she was smiling there was no offense taken. A waitress appeared beside him, setting Fishlegs’ rum and coke in front of him and taking a few orders around the table.

“So,” Fishlegs ventured into the lull of conversation. He cleared his throat, nervous. “Mr. Haddock-”

“Ugh, please,” Hiccup immediately interrupted. “That’s what everyone calls my father. Hiccup is fine.”

“Right. Hiccup.” Fishlegs cleared his throat again, wondering not for the first time how he’d gone from almost being murdered a few nights ago to sharing drinks with Hiccup Haddock and being asked to call him by his given name. “So, what exactly is it I’m expected to do for you?” Hiccup sighed, frowning down at the table. He took a long drink before answering.

“We’ll discuss that some other time, Fishlegs.” Hiccup paused and frowned at him now. “Can I call you Fishlegs?”

“Yeah, sure,” Fishlegs squeaked. Hiccup could call him whatever he wanted as long as he wasn’t putting a bullet in Fishlegs while he did it.

“Excellent. As I was saying, we’ll discuss the particulars of what I need from you another time. I’m off the clock right now. The only thing I intend to do this evening is spend time with my beautiful, amazing, talented fiance-” Astrid smiled again, grabbing his free hand to press a kiss to it, which in turn caused Hiccup to smile fondly as he glanced at her. “-and a few other people.” Heather snorted, but the twins looked outraged.

“What happened to childhood friends?” Tuffnut demanded. “When did we lose that privilege?”

“When I saw what you did to the last car I let you borrow.”

Tuffnut still looked offended, but Ruffnut snorted and admitted, “Alright, that’s fair. But in our defense, we didn’t set out to ruin the upholstery.”

“Speak for yourself,” Tuffnut said. He yelped when his sister kicked him under the table. “What? It’s not like he’s letting us anywhere near a car he owns now anyway.”

“Could make you go with Snotlout tomorrow as his cleanup crew,” Astrid suggested. Hiccup raised intrigued eyebrows.

“That’s not a bad idea.”

“No, it is absolutely a bad, terrible, horrible idea!” Ruffnut protested. “Snotlout has no concept of artistry or decency!” 

“Says the one responsibile for doing irreparable damage to a car’s upholstery,” Astrid said.

“Okay, first of all, that was mostly Tuff.” Ruffnut grunted when her brother elbowed her and swiftly elbowed him back. “And second, Gustav once claimed he had to scrub brains off the walls!”

“Was actually the ceiling,” Hiccup helpfully corrected. “And it’s not scrubbing so much as scraping, especially when brain matter has been allowed to harden. Are you alright Fishlegs?” Fishlegs managed a little squeak and nothing more. If he had to guess, his face had probably gone pale, maybe even a little green.

“You’d think a cop would be used to this kind of talk,” Snotlout said scoffing.

“I haven’t dealt with a lot of murders,” Fishlegs admitted. “I usually investigate thefts and stuff like that. Nonviolent crimes.” Sure, he’d heard some of his colleagues in homicide talk about murders they’d worked on, but he usually moved along pretty fast and he did his best to avoid seeing any of the photo evidence. The few murder crime scenes he’d been too he had definitely thrown up.

“You better get used to it,” Astrid said. “This is the sort of thing they talk about all the time, on or off the clock.”

“Wait,” Snotlout spoke up, “so are the twins gonna be my cleanup crew tomorrow when I-”

“I haven’t decided,” Hiccup swiftly interrupted, sending Snotlout a glare that actually made the man shrink back in his seat. Fishlegs had to stop himself from leaning forward, realizing Snotlout had almost revealed something he shouldn’t. Perhaps that would be a good way to get ahold of some useful information. He quickly shrunk back himself and grabbed for his drink when he noticed Hiccup frowning in his direction. “In fact, Snotlout, come see me in the morning. I think it’s time we discussed a few things.” Snotlout swallowed and nodded. Fishlegs wondered if this was the last time anyone would see him alive.

A throat cleared, drawing their attention to Eret, who was just finishing scanning a piece of paper. “Message for you, Hiccup.” He held the note out, but Hiccup made no move to take it.

“This is my night off,” Hiccup said. “Whoever it is can wait.”

“It’s from your father,” Eret said. Hiccup’s frown deepened and he took the note, reading it carefully before sighing. He crumpled it up and stared sourly at his drink for a moment.

“We’ll take care of it for you, H,” Tuffnut offered, but Hiccup shook his head.

“No, I better deal with it.” He looked down at Astrid, an apology on the tip of his tongue. She leaned up and kissed him before he could say anything.

“Go,” she said simply. “I’ll probably head home and give my parents a call, see how they’re settling in.” When Hiccup still didn’t move she smiled and added, “Hey, I knew what I was in for when I agreed to marry you.” A smile finally flashed across Hiccup’s face. He kissed her and then proceeded to climb out of the booth, making what seemed to be a special point of stepping on rather than over Snotlout. He hopped off the seat and smoothed out his suit.

“We’ll talk in the afternoon, Fishlegs,” he said. “Perhaps over a late lunch. I’ll have someone pick you up when I decide where I feel like eating.” He looked once more at Astrid, who smiled at him, then turned and walked away, Toothless falling into easy step with him. Eret, however, remained.

“Would you like me to see you home, Astrid?” he asked.

“No, I’ll be fine, but thank you, Eret,” she said. “You should go with Hiccup.”

When Eret still looked undecided, Heather added, “My brother will be picking me up real soon. We’ll make sure she gets home safe.” Eret nodded and went to catch up with Hiccup and Toothless.

Astrid's smile immediately fell into a frown and she sighed. Heather reached over and patted her hand. There was silence for a long moment until Tuffnut broke it with, "So I guess this is Snotlout's last night on earth."

"Shut up," Snotlout muttered, though it lacked the usual bravado Fishlegs had quickly come to associate with the man.

"Nah, Hiccup's not gonna kill him," Ruffnut said. "Not yet at least. What do you think, A?"

Astrid leaned back and finished off the drink Hiccup had left behind. "Hiccup is not going to kill his own cousin," she said. "He’d never hear the end of it from his aunt. Bottom line is that none of you need to worry about it. Shall we go, Heather?"

"Sure."

"Scooch, Jorgenson." Astrid made a shooing hand motion and Snotlout quickly scrambled out of her way. She slid smoothly out of the booth and stood, tucking a clutch under her arm. Heather slid out after her, pausing for a moment to give Fishlegs a little smile, then followed Astrid towards the exit. Snotlout stood around for a moment, then mumbled a goodbye and strode off into the crowd.

"Well, guess the party's over for tonight," Tuffnut said. He raised his glass. "To Stoick, for always managing to ruin a fun night out!" Ruffnut raised her glass as well and then they both stared at Fishlegs until he tentatively raised his glass a little.

"Come on bro, let's head home," Ruffnut said. She shoved at Fishlegs until he got up and the three of them made their way through the crowd and out into the night air. There was no sign of Snotlout, but they just caught Astrid and Heather getting into the back of a car. The door was closed by a large redheaded man with tattoos who went around and got in the driver's seat.

"So now what?" Fishlegs asked, turning back to the twins.

"Like I said, we're going home," Ruffnut said. "I suggest you do the same, make sure you're good and rested for your meeting tomorrow." Right, he was having lunch tomorrow with Hiccup. To discuss exactly what would be expected of him now that he worked for the Hooligans. Bidding the twins goodnight, he hailed a taxi and spent the ride home trying not to think too hard about the mess he'd gotten himself into.


End file.
